Not a bug: MySQL Connector/J doesn't make toast

I was just searching for something and found this MySQL bug report:

Other JDBC drivers I have used make toast for breakfast... MySQL Connector/J doesn't make toast, it can only pour a bowl of froot loops...

...Thank you for taking the time to write to us, but this is not a bug... I believe you should look into a device called a "toaster" to make your toast.

I'm Baron Schwartz, the founder and CEO of VividCortex. I am the author of High Performance MySQL and lots of open-source software for performance analysis, monitoring, and system administration. I contribute to various database communities such as Oracle, PostgreSQL, Redis and MongoDB. More about me.