S**t sales engineers say
Posted in Databases on Dec 7, 2013
Here’s a trip down memory lane. I was just cleaning out some stuff and I found some notes I took from a hilarious MySQL seminar a few years back. I won’t say when or where, to protect the guilty.1 I found it so absurd that I had to write down what I was witnessing.
Enough time has passed that we can probably all laugh about this now. Times and people have changed.
The seminar was a sales pitch in disguise, of course. The speakers were singing Powerpoint Karaoke to slides real tech people had written. Every now and then, when they advanced a slide, they must have had a panicked moment. “I don’t remember this slide at all!” they must have been thinking. So they’d mumble something really funny and trying-too-hard-to-be-casual about “oh, yeah, [insert topic here] but you all already know this, I won’t bore you with the details [advance slide hastily].” It’s strange how transparent that is to the audience.
Here are some of the things the sales “engineers” said during this seminar, in response to audience questions:
There was more, but that’s enough for a chuckle. Note to sales engineers everywhere: beware the guy in the front row scribbling notes and grinning.
What are your best memories of worst sales engineer moments?